


I'm sorry

by EclipseOfTheWild



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: AND BANANAS, Crack, I regret my existence, I'm Sorry, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, hhhhHHHHH, why, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 05:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20252626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EclipseOfTheWild/pseuds/EclipseOfTheWild
Summary: Just...pure regret.That's it, that's the story folks.Now with bananas.





	I'm sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I don't even know. I should be writing angst right now, I should be writing literally anything but this. But this is what I choose to do with my life.

Link activated the Magnesis rune on his Sheikah Slate, revealing the hidden, metal door on the side of the room.

The hero has infiltrated the Yiga Clan’s hideout with the intention of stealing back the Thunder Helm for Chief Riju. So far he was successfully able to sneak through the hideout without detection, and all that was left was (hopefully) whatever lied behind the door.

He locked onto the hidden door, swinging it open, revealing a large clearing with a gaping hole in the middle.

_’That’s probably where the boss eventually falls when I ultimately kick his ass.’___

_ _It’s always the damn holes. Why do villains make these large holes or have tall ass towers if they’re just going to fall off them at the end? _ _

_ _Link sighed, entering the clearing._ _

_ _To his surprise, the usual boss appearance cutscene didn’t happen._ _

_ _“Uh…hello?” He called, confused._ _

_ _Did the boss seriously leave the area? Maybe he just went the wrong way?_ _

_ _“Link!” A voice piped up from behind him, making the hero in question jump._ _

_ _The hero turned around, seeing a strange man in a more extravagant Yiga mask._ _

_ _“What?” Link asked, words having been lost to him._ _

_ _He could practically feel the grin from the Yiga clan member (leader?), “I’m a banana!”_ _

_ _“You’re a what?!” Okay this dude has clearly gone insane._ _

_ _“I’m a banana!” _ _

_ _The Yiga’s clothes suddenly changed, “What happened to your clothes?” Link gaped._ _

_ _“I’M A BANANA!” The man was now wearing a banana costume; his pose that of an indignant child._ _

_ _Then, without warning, the insane Yiga started bouncing around._ _

_ _“I’m a banana! I’m a banana! I’m a banana!” He sang._ _

_ _Link jumped back several feet when the Yiga suddenly shouted, “LOOK AT ME MOVE!”_ _

_ _The man continued singing whatever ridiculous bullshit that this was, Link just staring pure confusion. This couldn’t be the boss, right? Maybe Nintendo was just pranking him? At this point he’d rather be dealing with the Calamity than whatever the fuck this was._ _

_ _Without warning, the Yiga broke off his singing to make an indescribable noise. It was probably one of the strangest things he had ever heard._ _

_ _“Okay fuck this, I’m leaving.” Link turned to leave, when suddenly fucking _Zelda_ appeared._ _

_ _She was wearing a…chicken costume. What. The. Fuck._ _

_ _The Yiga and Zelda started jumping around each other while singing about…bananas. And chickens. _ _

_ _“ZELDA WHAT IN THE NAME OF HYLIA ARE YOU DOING??” Link screamed, “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN HYRULE CASTLE KEEPING THE CALAMITY SEALED WHAT THE FUCK!”_ _

_ _Suddenly a piercing roar cut throughout Hyrule, malice seeping across the sky._ _

_ _“Ohhhhhh my god. You fucking released Calamity Ganon to dance in a _chicken costume_.” _ _

_ _The hero stared for a few seconds, reconsidering his life choices, “Alright fuck it, I’m done. Whatever. The Calamity can destroy Hyrule for all I care, I’m not dealing with this shit.”_ _

_ _And Link yeeted the fuck out of there, and the Calamity did indeed destroy Hyrule, and everyone died._ _

_ _Though, in the void of nothingness, the words ‘I’m a banana’ can be heard ringing throughout it. _ _

_ _But nobody can hear it because everyone’s dead._ _

_ _The end._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
